Being Instead of Doing
Reflections from my recent trip to Lindos
A few weeks ago, my partner and I had the privilege of going to Lindos, Rhodes, Greece. A friend of ours owns a beautiful home out there and she was so generous and said that we could go and stay.
With it being Patrick's birthday, we decided to go early Jan/late feb. When we arrived, it was sooo quiet. We quickly realised that no tourists go here in the winter and locals hibernate for winter. The temperature got to highs of 12.c so not super warm. We found one supermarket open in the village and one place to eat out, a pub that sold delicious homemade pizza. Though it was beautiful, and the energy of the place was healing, what were we going to do with a whole week there, no activities, no wifi, no tv.
At first I felt a little unsettled, used to being a little busy-body, how was I going to be "productive" and make the most of my time there. As you know, I am a little adventurer, and when I travel, I like to see it all! But here, we had seen it all within the first day. Patrick had taken his fishing rod and spent hours upon hours fishing. Though I loved seeing him so immersed and fully invested in doing something he loved, I found myself a little lost.
We went to a beautiful panoramic view point, we went to the acropolis, I went for a very cold swim, I got up to watch the sunrise each morning. Beyond that, there wasn’t much to do. But as time went on, I fell in love with being still again. I was present with our beautiful mother nature; I sat with the sunrise, I heard the ocean waves, I felt the textures of the rock, I smelt the salty sea air. I was reminded that I am a part of her, so, I sat with myself, I heard my breath, I felt my emotions, and I listened and I appreciated and I was present and content.
I danced on the desolate beach, I practiced yoga, I meditated, I breathed, I read books, I listened to music, I painted, I walked, I napped, I rested. I allowed myself to be free again of the toxicity of our culture which is continuously requesting something from us and I allowed myself to just be again. How nourishing and rejuvenating it was. It almost felt like I had been taken back to a time where I was trying so desperately to heal from my wounds and I wound bask in moments of peace when I was in nature because it felt like an escape from the real world. We must not forget that we are always healing. It is not a job to tick off our to-do list and then it’s done, it is a continuous practice.
When we have been burnt, it is so easy to feel like we have done the healing and then get swept along with everyday life and continue on the treadmill and forget that we are worthy and deserving of peace, of contentment, of nourishment, of joy, of wellbeing. We do not have to push against mother nature's calling for us to rest in order to get our jobs done. I was reminded that we are still in winter, and that in this season, everything in nature rests, so why don’t we feel able to despite our body yearning for it?
Once upon a time, I was too scared to be with myself because I did not like myself, let alone love or accept myself. And, subconsciously, I was so afraid of what might come up for me if I sat with myself and my emotions, what memories would be triggered? What feelings would be evoked. So, I kept myself busy to avoid this confrontation with myself. However, this is what led me to burnout, avoidance or reality and avoidance of my true being. When I did the work to love and accept myself, that is when I could give myself permission to rest. Why? Because I can now listen to my body, honour and respect what it is asking of me. I can face any emotion and know that I can manage it and that I am safe, I feel comfortable being with myself. I know that I am already enough, I do not have to push beyond breaking point to prove myself or to make others happy. I already love myself so I don’t have to push my boundaries to people please in order to feel loved. I can just be, and be content with being.
In order to break the burnout cycle, you have to learn to love and accept yourself unconditionally.
Because when you can do this, you can drop the people pleasing, the perfectionism, the self-sabotage. You can honour your own boundaries, your own limits. You can listen to what your mind, body and soul needs and offer it exactly what it needs without feeling guilty.
Mother nature can offer us so much wisdom and though this holiday was not what I expected, it was a blessing in disguise. It taught me that my body was yearning for rest more than I realised, so I allowed myself to rest. It taught me to flow with nature's offerings instead of our patriarchal society we live in. It reminded me how much joy dancing brings me.
And, I understand that we still have to make a living, we can’t be on holiday all the time (if only) but we can find moments of peace, of joy, of contentment, of appreciation, of gratitude, in everyday life. We can create a life that meets our needs, instead of squeezing ourselves into a mold that we don’t fit. So, if you do anything from reading this blog, make it something you enjoy, something you love, something that gives you peace. Whether it be 5 minutes in a quiet room, dancing, yoga, listening to music, reading a book, painting whatever it is that allows you to be fully immersed and present in the moment so that you can just be, without the pressure to do. After my holiday, I made a commitment to myself that I would find time to do something like this every single day because life is for living, for being, not for doing.
Even this morning, as I write this, I feel so much gratitude. I had so much planned to get done today in terms of admin for my business. However, after a very busy day yesterday, I woke up, I listened to my body and I heard that it needed rest. My M.E had been triggered a little from a day working in Birmingham the day before. The old me would have pushed through this feeling and forced myself to “be productive” but I would have paid for it later down the line and hit breaking point again. Today’s me, I heard what my body was asking for, rest. So I laid in, I got up slow, made some breakfast and a hot drink, I meditated and I took my time. Instead of doing what was on my to-do list, I did what felt intuitively right and I honoured and respected my mind, body and soul. I feel so immensely grateful that I can do this. Now that I run my own business, I have rebelled against patriarchy and chosen my own path that better suits my body and my needs, instead of making myself sick.
What is your body telling you today? What do you need? How can you offer yourself just that? Even as I write this, I sit with gratitude, because I can see all my work and manifestations coming into fruition. When I first trained to be a coach. I was asked what my values are, what’s important to me and my intentions. I wanted to become a coach because I am a natural born empath, healer and light leader and I wanted to help others. I had my own personal experiences which graced me with wisdom and skills I could use to support and empower others. But I also wanted freedom. Freedom to travel more and freedom to listen to my body's needs and manage my chronic health conditions.
As I sit here now, I see that these manifestations have blossomed. Though it may not look how I expected, I may not be in a campervan traveling the world whilst on zoom calls to my clients and healing the world. I am traveling on holidays, I am healing the world one person at a time, and I am managing my own physical health by choosing the hours I work and listening to my body and am still on my own healing journey, and for that, I am so grateful.
I have realised that nothing in life is worth breaking yourself for, because then you are not enjoying the journey. Listen to mother earth's wisdom, listen to your intuition, don’t push and force and prove. The most important thing is that you raise your vibrational frequency so that you can manifest the life that you want, that is not going to happen through pushing and forcing from a place of fear and lack. It is going to happen through being, being present and aware and flowing with the hurdles of life as your move towards your destination.
How can you raise your vibrational frequency today?
WIth my clients we do the law of attraction “It’s this or something better” exercise to help with the understanding of this and we also do the triangle exercise to help people find balance when it come to manifestation. To help them understand what inspired action needs to be taken, and what we have to leave in the hands of the universe. We also look at yin and yang energy to discover how we can find harmony and balance of energy in the process of manifestation.
With that, I share with you my love, light and healing <3
Stephie Be x
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